Why Many Young Women Prefer Older Men – And Why Some Don’t
It’s no secret that many young women are finding themselves in relationships with older men—sometimes by a decade or more. This trend has become quite common, especially in urban areas. Gone are the days when a whole neighborhood would stop and stare at a ‘mubaba’ (a slang term for an older man) walking hand in hand with his younger partner.
So, what’s behind this attraction? Are these young women dating older men out of necessity or is it a conscious choice? Is it about financial stability, or is it simply love that draws them together?
While some women feel perfectly at ease dating older men, others can’t even imagine flirting with a ‘mubaba’, let alone getting into a relationship. Is it due to personal beliefs, societal pressures, or perhaps the embarrassment that might come with such an age gap?
Take Caren, for instance. At 32, she exclusively dates men who are significantly older than her and has no interest in younger guys. She genuinely enjoys these relationships.
“The first man I dated was 10 years older than me, he was actually a married man. I really enjoyed the relationship. It was okay. It went pretty well. I have tried dating younger men after that, it didn’t work. So I prefer older men,” she notes.
She emphasizes that setting boundaries is crucial when dealing with a man like that, as you definitely don’t want to get tangled up in his marital issues.
“Right now, am looking for a long-term relationship because am not growing younger. I don’t mind dating a divorcee as well but I believe that there are older men who are not yet married and are also in search of younger women,” she states.
“And of course yes, financial stability or rather provision is one of the things I consider. I mean, no one wants to live a low life.”
Prisca, 27, finds herself in a similar situation. She shares that she once dated a man who was 13 years her senior, and their relationship was filled with so much love.
“The guy that I dated was very loving and mature. One of the reasons I dated him was because of cash. Loving him came along.”
She suggests that if girls are thinking about dating older men, they should really pay attention to whether there’s a genuine chemistry between them.
“Love may not be there at first but it is something that can grow with time. Sometimes such men come into our lives to uplift us,” Prisca says.
While some women may not have dated older men before, they’re definitely open to the idea. Many are drawn to older men because they believe these partners offer not just financial stability, but also a level of maturity and wisdom that’s hard to find. Plus, there’s a sense of comfort in knowing that older men might not pressure them into having children, especially since some already have kids of their own.
Zawadi, 25, shares that she’s always been interested in dating older men, emphasizing that for her, age is more than just a number.
“Women mature faster than men, in terms of their reasoning. If you date someone younger, you might have challenges because of the difference in maturity levels. I don’t want to see my man as a boy or a child. I want him to see me as the child, to guide me and nurture me. This way, respect can be earned,” she says.
“It’s not always about marriage, or to prove the society right. I just need a companion, someone I can do life with. That’s more of it for me.”
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Here’s the text we’re looking at: “Women tend to mature faster than men when it comes to reasoning. If you find yourself dating someone younger, you might run into some challenges due to those maturity differences. I don’t want to see my partner as a boy or a child; I want him to see me as the one who needs guidance and nurturing. That way, respect can truly be established,” she explains.
“It’s not just about marriage or trying to meet societal expectations. What I really need is a companion, someone to share life with. That’s what matters most to me.”
“Being taken care of is important. I didn’t experience fatherly love, so I would love to get it from my man. Having an older guy as a partner makes me feel so safe and comfortable just as I would feel around my dad,” she says.
On the flip side, we have Carol, 22, who has made a firm promise to herself: she will never date older men. For her, it’s a source of shame and embarrassment, and she believes it would be seen as scandalous if any of her family or church members caught her with an older guy.
“I can’t date a man who is way older than me because the society will think am after money or material things. I also don’t want to because the man might expect me to behave like a grownup and am just a child,” she says.
There are plenty of women who have dated both younger and older men. Most of them believe that we live in a free world, so everyone should have the right to choose what works best for them.
Take Rebecca, for instance. At 25, she’s been in relationships with both a younger guy and an older one. She feels that age doesn’t really determine maturity; after all, some older men can be quite immature, while there are younger men who are surprisingly mature for their age.
“I have tasted both sides and I have drawn a conclusion that men are just men. Age isn’t a determiner of maturity or finances. There are younger men who really do the work and have their lives planned while some older men just lazy around and have empty pockets,” she emphasizes.
“Don’t make assumptions that older men are the best. We have quite a number of younger men that are really great. Just chose your struggle.”
Marion, 28, is currently in a relationship with a guy who’s just a year older than her, and she claims it’s the best choice she’s ever made.
“My current relationship is great! It allows me to be myself. My boyfriend and I learn a lot from each other and I love it,” she notes.
“I have dated a guy who is 10 years older me and I didn’t like the relationship. He was very controlling and never considered any of my decisions to be right. He kept saying am a child, I don’t know anything,” she adds.
The women show us that dating isn’t just about money, religion, or societal expectations. At the end of the day, it really comes down to what each person wants and what works best for them.
Why Many Young Women Prefer Older Men – And Why Some Don’t
